Exclusive Developer Opportunity

“This is an exclusive opportunity to join one of the world’s leading insurance specialists who requires an experienced SQL Server Developer to join their reporting team.

I thought this fantastic opportunity to join an international company would be of real interest to you as you have previous experience as a SQL Server Developer and proven SQL Server skills. ”

Of course its bloody exclusive! its a flippin’ job – 1 person gets it no one else does, FFS.

We all know these dipshit recruitment nodders are thinly disguised (or not) sales reps, but seriously who writes copy like that for a job ad? I’m scared they are going to start phoning me at funny times of the day and hassling me with ‘2 for the price of one if I sign today’ offers.

Exclusive is such a non word these days, like solution, world class, market leading all truly pointless combinations of characters that can be left right out to make sentences easier to understand.

Anyone else getting OTT sales blather from agencies?

Anyone got any more non words?

cheers

Simon

[ps that email finished thus:

“This position is available immediately and will go quickly” – nuff said!]

[I’ve got mates that are used car salesmen that are less pushy than that!]

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8 Responses to “Exclusive Developer Opportunity”

  1. Marcus Says:

    One of my favourite euphemisms in IT job advertising is ‘enthusiastic’. Either the pay is terrible, the role is horrible or the conditions intolerable.

  2. Simon Says:

    enthusiastic go getting team player?

  3. Kevlarhead Says:

    “enthusiastic go getting team player?” = slit your wrists now, to save time later

  4. Ross Says:

    What amazes me are the adverts that go, we need a skilled and highly experienced SQL, C++, C#, VB6, XML, Flash, Latin, Pascal, VBA and Delphi, developer to work in out busy central London team. Ability to juggle while riding a unicycle back work essential, 62 hours a week. Salary 25 grand.

    Who on earth goes for theses jobs?

  5. Simon Says:

    Why didn’t you go for it?

    youre right but I’ve seen them willing to pay 14k for that skill set (oh you needed full LAMP stack experience too)

  6. Bob Phillips Says:

    Do you mean that my Latin is back in demand at last? Better brush up on that Cambridge course.

  7. JP Says:

    You forgot to mention “BS/MS in financial or computer science preferred”

    –JP

  8. Nick Hebb Says:

    My biggest complaint is the over use of “rock star”. I’m sorry, but real rock stars don’t stare at a ‘puter all day. I’m not sure what they do stare at, but 38DD probably figures into the equation somewhere.

    One ad caught my eye the other day. They wanted someone who could “think outside the box”. That phrase is so trite that using it is self-negating.

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